Cómo se crean diferencias irreconciliables

A Day in the Life of a Conservative	A Day in the Life of a Liberal
7:00 a.m. Wake up, flip on FOX News, pick outfit to match terror alert level	Wake up, wash down morning-after pill with hot cup of chai tea
8:00 a.m. Bible study	Pilates
8:30 a.m. Listen to Rush Limbaugh while idling in the Krispy Kreme drive-through line	Read The New York Times while sipping a latte at Starbucks
9 a.m. Arrive at work, force the community’s last momandpop shop out of business	Arrive at work at nonprofit organization, sharpen pencil
10 a.m. Buy hundred-share lot of Bechtel stock in anticipation of war with Iran	Buy flock of chicks from Heifer International to donate to Kenyan village
12 p.m. Eat sandwich of leftover squab from weekend hunt, washed down with Bud	Enjoy bag lunch of braised fennel, watercress, and wheat grass juice
3 p.m. Gas up Hummer, reposition Confederate flag on window, clean homeless person off grille	Pump air in bicycle tires, lecture passing drivers about evils of internal combustion engine
5 p.m. Stop by drugstore for Viagra prescription, report suspicious-looking cashier to INS for deportation	Stop by drugstore for Prozac prescription, file punitive damage lawsuit after being told it isn’t ready
6 p.m. Join the guys at Hooters to watch ESPN and ogle the waitstaff over a couple of pitchers	Join fellow tree huggers to block commuter traffic until the city agrees to build a “toad tunnel” allowing frogs to safely cross busy street
7:30 p.m. Sit down to family dinner, discuss Pat Robertson’s latest warning about how eating soy products can make you gay	Sit down to family dinner, discuss Sean Penn’s recent op-ed on global security challenges of the 21st century
8 p.m. Watch The O’Reilly Factor for fair and balanced news coverage	Watch The Daily Show for fair and balanced news
10:00 p.m. Have missionaryposition sex with spouse	Invite the neighbors over for a group orgy
11 p.m. Recite prayers, await the Rapture	Smoke joint, fall asleep